You Complete Me Because I Complete Myself…Healthy Individualism Within a Partnership

“The ultimate lesson all of us have to learn is unconditional love, which includes not only others but ourselves as well” Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Dagny’s Entry [November 3, 2009]

In the movie “Jerry Maguire” there is a famous scene in which Jerry arrives at Dorothy’s door and finally confesses “I love you.. You..you complete me..And I just…” and Dorothy responds, “Shut up, you had me at hello.” It’s easy to read this scene in a truly romantic sense — after all, it’s what we all think we want — that one person who will “complete” us. It’s the romantic ideal. And while this scene is designed to bring the two main characters together after they’ve spent most of the movie struggling to recognize the strength of the bond they’ve formed, it might also be seen as the moment in which Jerry acknowledges that his deep love for Dorothy exists because he’s recognized that he’s finally found a way to complete himself, and in doing so, he can truly love someone else.

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Cum for Me, Baby...Porn as Sexual Education

“Men are very goal-oriented. They believe in the hereafter. An orgasm is what they are here after.” Alan Altman

Dagny’s Entry [October 26, 2009]

Pornography. We need to talk about this because it’s both alleviating and creating problems for men and women. Now, I’m not going to get into the moral issues surrounding porn, if you want to debate the morality of porn we can do that another day. And don’t get me wrong, when I talk about pornography, I am talking about sex between consenting adults. Period.

The proliferation of pornography on the internet has meant that more and more people have access to it on a daily basis, and it’s being used as a kind of educational tool in many ways. Men and women who have not had sex, don’t know how to have sex, or want new sexual avenues to explore are accessing web-based porn as a means of learning what they don’t know. And this is great! YouPorn offers all kinds of free clips and movies — everything from professionally filmed stories to amateur home videos. These offerings can go a long way in teaching individuals about the act of sex, and in opening up new possibilities for sexual exploration. However, there is one thing that really bothers me about most of these videos — the men always orgasm,and the women rarely do.

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For the Ladies…Questions from Men

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the life of an infant or catching a fly ball, a woman will automatically choose to save the infant, without even considering if there’s a man on base. – Dave Barry

Dagny’s Entry [October 21, 2009]

A few days ago, WHAYTA posed questions from women for the men to answer. The men accepted the challenge and did their best to give honest answers, and I think we all learned a lot about what men are thinking when it comes to sex. We asked the guys to pose questions, and they did! What is interesting is that while women wanted to know what men are thinking, the men wanted to know why women do what they do. So ladies, it’s your turn to try and provide men with a chance to understand some of the reasons why you do what you do. Let’s see if we can’t continue to open up the lines of communication between men and women.

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D’ya Think I’m Sexy?…Women Ask Questions About Sex

“Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can’t help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, “How can he want me the way I look in the morning?” It’s because we can’t see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.” Andy Rooney

Dagny’s Entry [October 19, 2009]

Ahh, sex. You were wondering when we would finally get down and dirty about it, weren’t you? I’ve been reading articles in women’s magazines lately, and they’ve left me with a lot of questions. I’m hoping that the male readers out there can weigh in and give us some different perspectives on some of the most confusing issues related to sex. You see, women have lots of questions about sex, but we’re frequently hesitant to pose these questions because although we want the answers, we don’t really want you guys thinking about our questions while we’re having sex. Hopefully, these questions will give us the information we need. Answer as many or as few of the questions as you like!

Ladies? If you have additional questions that you’d like answered, feel free to post them or if you’re too shy, you can send them to the WHAYTA mailbox [whayta09@yahoo.com] and we’ll throw them up on the blog for consideration. Oh, and guys? Feel free to pose your own questions! We’ll do our best to answer them as openly and honestly as we can.

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Stripping it Down…Being Open and Honest About Things

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face… You must do the thing you cannot do. –Eleanor Roosevelt

Dagny’s Entry [October 16, 2009]

I have to a confession to make — blogging is difficult. Oh, I love the writing and enjoy the conversations that are taking place on this site; those things are absolutely gratifying. And while Francisco and I have absolute faith in the power of open and honest conversation, I have to admit something: the past few weeks have proven to be an interesting test of my overall life philosophy. You see, Francisco and I are what you might call “life-long learners.” We are educated people, but we’re also people who like to learn just because it’s something we enjoy doing. And let me tell you, this blog is all about the learning!

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And Please, No Penis Photos...

“My boyfriend used to ask his mother, ‘How can I find the right woman for me?’ and she would answer, ‘Don’t worry about finding the right woman- concentrate on becoming the right man.’”

Dagny’s Entry [October 15, 2009]

As we’ve been discussing in the last few posts, dating can be a tricky endeavor, and the online forum can do one of two things for people. It can offer them a kind of freedom that they might not have in a more temporal setting — like in a bar or at a party — but it can also prove to be more complicated to navigate since the element of actual human contact has been removed from the equation. Today I would like to offer some examples of ways in which men make mistakes online that often cost them the opportunity of meeting someone who might be of great interest. Now, before you get up in arms about the imbalance here, I want to say that I realize that women are part of this equation, and that they can make just as many mistakes as men do; however, since I have not pursued a woman online, I cannot speak to this experience. We will rely on our wonderfully forthright male readers to provide us with a view from the other side of the computer screen. Agreed? Thank you.

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Pussy Boys and Bitches...

““Words can sometimes be used to confuse, but it’s up to the practitioners of the study of language to apply them for good and not for evil. It is just like fire; fire can heat your house or burn it down.” Frank Luntz

Dagny’s Entry [October 13, 2009]

Many of the difficulties that arise in the area of communication between men and women come from the use of language. Now, this seems like one of those “Duh!” statements, doesn’t it? You are probably thinking, “Well duh. Dagny! Communication between men and women involves language, so of course that’s where the misunderstandings occur!” I wouldn’t blame you, if that’s what you were thinking. However, I think that the problems often times arise not specifically because of what we say, but because of what we imply when we use particular words. It is the meaning behind the words that gives us fits.

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